The Battle

2:30am

Inside my skull. 

Sinuses: EVACUATE! Open ALL the hatches! Purge all chambers! Complete and total evacuation!

Me: I am violently roused from a deep sleep by a cacouphony of sneezes and a desperate need for Kleenex. 

I stumble to the bathroom and blow my nose for 10 minutes straight. Where does all this stuff come from?

2:40am

Inside my skull.

Sinuses: SHUT IT DOWN! Close ALL hatches. None shall pass!

Me: I get back in bed and now I cannot breathe through my nose. I feel as if my sinuses have inflated themselves to completely seal off my airway. 

I toss and turn, obtain 47 pillows, drink some water. Eventually falling into an unpleasant mouth-breathing sleep. 

3:15am

Inside my skull. 

Sinuses: Left side - PURGE! Right side - maintain hermetic seal!

Me: another sneezing fit and stumbling visit to the bathroom for Kleenex. It is challenging to blow one's nose when only 1 side is on board. 

Right eardrum: Hey! Quit that blowing! We're in lock-down. Too much pressure!

Right sinus: HOLD THE SEAL! None shall pass! 

Left sinus: Full drainage protocol! 

Me: I shuffle back to bed, taking the tissue box with me this time. 

The right side of my head pounds. I lay on my left side hoping to release some of the pressure on the right side.

A battle of wills begins.

Me: Listen right side, can we talk about this? You gotta loosen up a little here. 

Right sinus: NEVER! We have our orders! HOLD THE SEAL!

Gravity: Though I have the power to maintain planetary orbit, I am completely powerless against a stubborn sinus.

Left sinus: We're getting tired of doing all the work around here. Commence sneezing.

Right eardrum: That's enough of that, please. 

In hindsight, I realize that a cup of tea would likely have been effective at this point, but alas, this idea did not occur to me. 

6:07am

Just outside my FINALLY sleeping skull.

"Mom? Can I have a muffin?"